keep your hands to yourself ///

{tincangirl.tumblr.com}

2011-03-04T16:50:00.004+08:00

I don't blog here anymore. It's been a good what, seven years or so? But we must now part ways, because some things are best left behind the distant past, the safest place I can currently think of, a thickened pool of indistinct memories that one might dip into every now and then, and find perhaps something new, something beautiful that was never there... but that an unwavering, never-ending optimism might sometimes produce.

I turn 21 at the end of this month. Terrifying, isn't it? Terrifying and sweet. I think I'm quite done being a teenager.

Breaking March

2011-03-02T00:18:00.000+08:00

Hello kids it's March. Time for a ▲

He was a friend of mine, he was a son of a gun

2011-02-11T01:34:00.003+08:00

Anticipating free time and people time (♥ you two March babies)

Till then.

Stay gold x

▼▼▼

2011-02-10T14:52:00.001+08:00

Ah, Morrissey

One hand clap parade

2011-02-08T22:28:00.004+08:00

Monday was a slow morning, had a real breakfast and studied some till dinner time, which was spent checking out the new Thai restaurant near my house with Z.H., my spicy food company. Then met R for a late-night movie The Green Hornet.

Suffice to say that Seth Rogen annoyed the crap out of me so please, for the love of all that is good and sane and capable, do not watch it. Unless of course you like the whole stereotypical stupid, socially-inept and inappropriate rich, spoiled Asian sidekick-abusing American heir to a wealthy newspaper company gig.

Survived the whole day at school today on a mere three hours of sleep last night; slept on the train there and back, and ho boy did I sleep on the way back.

Hey, that's no way to say goodbye

2011-02-05T00:45:00.004+08:00

I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
Walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
You know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
It's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea
But let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie
Your eyes are soft with sorrow
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye

/

Plans in motion now, I pray they do not fall through. One thing at a time yes, but time is finite and so is this world, and how mortal our tiny selves are we know only too well.

But when plans are in motion and the best cat in the world is sitting on your lap yawning into your tummy as you re-read your favourite Austen novel and listen to some Leonard Cohen after getting home from a day of watching anime with perhaps the only person who loves you even when you are at your most wretched, I think... I think, that days like these are worth fighting all the monsters for

Léon: The Professional

2011-02-03T23:33:00.010+08:00

I loved everything about this movie.

Also, I actually finished my January film list in less than three weeks. Awesome. Love old movies.

Not quite sure what Chinese New Year is supposed to mean when all I do is stay home and watch webcasts of lectures I've skipped and movies on my movie list and hardly remember to feel any guilt or sadness about it at all

Anime with best friend tomorrow!

Sherlock

2011-02-03T22:01:00.003+08:00

I must say, Benedict Cumberbatch rather does grow on you very nicely. Ah London, London. Makes me want to re-read all the Sherlock Holmes stories

The Graduate

2011-02-03T04:35:00.004+08:00

So, so good. Pure movie magic.

Honeysimple

2011-02-02T13:56:00.008+08:00

They don't make movies (stupid though their plots may be) with boys like Lukas Haas in them anymore...

Laneway Photo Diary

2011-01-30T03:08:00.014+08:00

He said "I am the devil, boy, come with me

And we'll make many storms"

He offered me the universe

But inside my heart there's a picture of a girl

Some call love a curse, some call love a thief

But she's my home

And she's as much apart for this broken heart, but see

Broken bones always seem to mend

2011-01-29T01:12:00.002+08:00

Fingers crossed

2011-01-26T23:09:00.002+08:00

Pathological serial self-despising self-destructive self-harming rebellious love-rejecting hypocrite crybaby liar overthinker black hole sinner sinner sinner

There is only so much fuckedupness in my past that I can fall back on, I think. At some point all wells dry up ... ... right?

2011-01-25T21:35:00.003+08:00

Completed England, England on the train ride home today, then started on Arthur and George by Julian Barnes, the same author, found out that the aforementioned Arthur is none other than Sir Conan Doyle himself. Should have had some suspicion going into the book since the blurb at the back says Arthur goes on to become a doctor and a writer, but only thought something was up when the story mentioned his siblings Annette, Innes, Connie and Lottie and his studying at Stonyhurst and his mother the wonderful storyteller. Only had to turn to the author's note at the end to confirm it.

What a nice surprise! Made me glad, even if just for a little while

2011-01-24T15:15:00.004+08:00

The letter is still sitting on my table, ho hum.

Thinking a little abstractly (ha, ha) about Baudrillard and simulacra, along with other related bits of beginner postmodern theory I didn't care for when I first read about them three years ago. They seem highly attractive now though, when faced with a mere three weeks left of school before yet another study break.

Tell me, how did we end up here? How did we go from young and impressionable book-nerds and essay-writing freaks to cool kids who write letters they don't have the guts to do anything about and spend their days wondering about everything other than their course of study, however respectable their chosen course of study might be?

2011-01-24T11:00:00.001+08:00

Andrew McCarthy and John Cusack?

Nooooo

2011-01-23T20:01:00.004+08:00

dolly zoom
fugue state
personality

disorder

/Quis hic locus? Quae regio? Quae mundis plaga? What world is this? What kingdom? What shores of what worlds?

/Do not drop anchor here, do you understand?

2011-01-23T04:25:00.008+08:00

~~Sixteen Candles~~

~~Say Anything~~

~~Clueless~~

~~Ferris Bueller's Day Off~~

~~Pretty In Pink~~

~~Girl, Interrupted~~

~~How To Make An American Quilt~~

~~Heathers~~

~~Better Off Dead~~

~~Bed Of Roses~~

~~The Professional~~

~~The Graduate~~

~~Class~~

~~Mannequin~~

~~Boys~~

2011-01-22T23:33:00.006+08:00

Andrew McCarthy is beyond hot

And he actually cried ahhhh :'((((((

And he said 'I love you. Always.'

Wanna just die now

/////wrist

Ottoman couch, how handsome your furniture

2011-01-22T21:55:00.003+08:00

A food log: 1 x cup weird-tasting coffee in the morning, 1 x plate 三捞河粉, 1 x cup iced chai tea latte, 1 x slice raspberry white chocolate cheese brulée cake at Starbucks, 1 x bag of Royce chocolate-coated almonds, 1 x 鱼片板面, 1 x slice stacked chocolate cake with 1 x scoop dark chocolate ice cream, 1 x home-made cup of jasmine green tea

Am nearly halfway through England, England by Julian Barnes. Spent three hours at the Siglap Starbucks reading before Calvin came down with the bag of Royce chocolates, with which we sat until we left in search of a birthday cake (his errand) some dinner, and some dessert. Then got on my favourite bus ride home. All of which was good.

Felt good to be able to while the day away like that.

Pretty In Pink

2011-01-22T01:05:00.002+08:00

'...a gentleman. He was funny, nervous and strange.'

Someone like that. Someone... basic.

Go easy

2011-01-20T18:08:00.007+08:00

Found in the mailbox today: a massively awesome hand-made card ♥

On the bus home today from a day spent in school doing two hilarious test papers, did nothing but listen to Ryan Adams and watch the world go by, thinking, well, this is what love should be like --- quiet, heart-breaking, heart-mending, built on truth, and faithful to the end.

He taught me nearly everything I know about what love should be like, in this world

Forever gold x

If only to say this to you now
I love you still and I always will
If only to say this to myself
I will always love you
I will always love you
So go easy on yourself

Go easy

2011-01-19T11:01:00.001+08:00

Alley cats have alley ways

2011-01-18T23:53:00.001+08:00

Alley cats

2011-01-17T21:43:00.001+08:00

Lightbulb flash 1052fps

2011-01-17T21:09:00.001+08:00

slow burn from frazerchurchill on Vimeo.

Crateful of masterly tricks and slipshod love-memories

2011-01-17T01:29:00.005+08:00

Thank you: Ryan, for so many things, and Calvin, for letting me succeed in making you laugh, repeatedly, and for helping me laugh at really stupid things too. I needed to remember I'm still good for something, even if that something is as fleeting or as seemingly insignificant as being able to make a few silly jokes while having an online conversation with an old friend.

2011-01-15T20:46:00.004+08:00

Talk all the talk with a poet's style
Tongue like electric, eyes like a child
/

This might be a weird kind of silly but I love this music video and it's not just because it's got Emma Watson in it (though that in itself is pretty swell) - it's got that quality that I thought - growing up - all music videos should have
Also, it really sucks that if a boy wearing coat tails like that was walking along the streets around here, I'd just think he was a crazy, attention-seeking bat... and he would most probably be :<

2011-01-15T19:40:00.001+08:00

2011-01-15T19:33:00.001+08:00

I would... give anything to experience it and love it at the same time

Out of Order

2011-01-15T00:38:00.004+08:00

Two and a half hours spent laughing your lungs out at a very funny, very well-written script and a cute boy on stage, with supper after... seems quite a fine way to spend an evening to me. Forgot, just for a little while, something that's been pacing around in my ribcage, so I'm glad I decided to go after all

Then all the colours of the rainbow

Fell in my eyes

2011-01-14T00:55:00.002+08:00

...the mole on my nose is not the only thing that's off-centre about me.

My heart is too, ha ha ha

2011-01-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

Won't you help me be on my way?

2011-01-13T20:51:00.002+08:00

Do you know, mister, of this place?
Do you know, mister? No time to waste

▲▲▲

Eyeliner cat

2011-01-11T22:33:00.007+08:00

Found and fed tonight: a little miss, about the size or slightly smaller than my own two, walking about the neighbouring block. I meowed noncommittally at her and to my surprise she meowed back and began walking after me. Managed to get her to walk the remaining way with me to my lift landing, with regular encouraging meows, and she actually came into the lift with me. Fed her some of the wet food my cats love. She's beautiful, with the perfect tail and black eyeliner-rimmed eyes.

She took the lift down with me again because she didn't seem to want to head down the staircase so I don't know if she'll be able to find her way back to outside my front door where I fed her, so I guess we'll just wait and see. Hopefully she'll come back for food and eat less grub out of the drains so her diarrhoea will go away (yes she has diarrhoea)

Sister called me the 'cat whisperer' which I suppose might be preferable to 'that crazy cat lady'

When I got home Norman meowed his usual 'where have you been' long-suffering, mock-angry meow and I asked him if he could smell a lady on me. He meowed back as if to say 'yes, where's she?'

Norman is so cute... ...

Home sweet home

2011-01-10T22:11:00.005+08:00

It's only been, what, four hours? And I already miss you. Think its partly the cold, my rainy January playlist, and mostly the sheer ridiculousness of wearing three layers here in my room trying to keep snug, staring at my anti-asthma pharmacology notes for the very first time.

Someone tell me there is light at the end of this tunnel.

Though a little part of me says that no matter what happens, it's going to be okay, because at least you know, the music is really really good.

2011-01-09T23:11:00.003+08:00

Here, something beautiful to start your week with (I personally like to start mine with some heartbreak, and this, this suits me just fine)

2011-01-09T17:46:00.001+08:00

And age to age He stands
and time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End,
Beginning and the End

Like all worrywarts, we worry

2011-01-08T02:06:00.004+08:00

Olivia says

: (

am i a neurotic cat girl now

Ryan Sleeper says

yes, you are showing the signs.

only because you love them

Ryan Sleeper says

just dont worry until you fall sick ok

its not worth it

cos i worry

im the neurotic olivia boy

♥

I won't always love what I'll never have

2011-01-03T23:58:00.005+08:00

Something worth remembering about today, before bed:

Studying was effectively nil, only did 1.5 sets of pharmacology notes, and even then, only briefly. Spent my time planning for a trip to Hong Kong, just me and my best friend, for five days in May later this year. Will hopefully be able to put the plan into action, i.e. book the flight and the accommodation, soon. It's a little surreal thinking about it so much in advance. So many things will have happened by then, not least of all my second year of medical school would be over, Ryan's brother would be married, and I'd be twenty one.

Anyway, had a golden moment this morning. It was early in the morning before school and I was awake even before I was aware of it, lying my bed watching Norman on my chest, doing his meowing-in-my-face routine. And I just stared at him in a half-dazed manner for some time before reaching for my alarm and realizing it was just about to ring. It's nice, the quiet minutes in the wee hours of the morning, where everyone else in the house is still fast asleep, the traffic sounds outside your window are sparse, with your cats in just about their most placid mood... and your total zombie-like ferocious sleepiness is balanced out only by the sheer amazement at your even being up in time for school at all.

Today also I remembered that some music will always be my own, no matter what, and that is perhaps one of the most comforting thoughts my humble human soul can summon

2011-01-03T23:48:00.003+08:00

just

had

Brown/black

2011-01-01T18:20:00.006+08:00

My favourite three consecutive pages of the entire novel ♥

First Saturday of the year: awoke far too early (considering the time we went to bed) to very sleepy best friend... and Norman meowing grievously as usual, after which followed the now-daily morning cleaning-up-after-my-cats routine. Made a double-cheese omelette sandwich and sent best friend on his way before heading out to lunch -- of the Chinese round-table, Lazy Susan variety -- first meal of the year. Then walked around in a shopping mall with my sister for a short while after that and found the most gorgeous hat ever.

Also: there's nothing I quite like as much as receiving a mixtape in the mail..., and phenomenal chocolate mousse cake from Canelé courtesy of my uncle

/2010

2011-01-01T10:12:00.006+08:00

Last day of the year: shoes finally arrived, all the way from Switzerland x finishing the last of Watchmen x roti john and a lot of satay for two x systematically re-filling glasses of Chivas x Donut Ninja amidst the steady stream of cigarette smoke x dancing right through the first hour of the new year. Mad dancing powered by Chivas with your best-friend-slash-lover (ha ha, get it, get it) seems like quite a terrific way to start a decade, apart from it being a Friday night

Somehow, in it's own little pool of crazy/damaged fucked-up-ness, this year feels... complete. It definitely wasn't the best year in the past twenty (despite the cats and London and learning, finally, how to ride a two-wheeler), but you know what? I'm one year older now and I've got something to show for it.

Yes sir damn right

Bus boys

2010-12-30T22:25:00.009+08:00

Am exhausted, and the only thing that seems enticing right now is reading Watchmen so here's a few words before we get to that: awoke the earliest in a week, that is, nine in the morning, to Norman pacing on my clavicles meowing hungrily, got up and waded around in a sleepy, head-throbbing stupor to feed my cats, clean up after them and change their litter before grabbing a bus to East Coast Park to cycle some before getting fish & chips and some ale. Tried the cod and the haddock, while I reminisced wistfully about the London air...

Ah yes, also watched Black Swan. Suffice to say we were quite relieved when it was over. Although the story held its own, the cinematography was beautiful and Natalie Portman was very good, the entire atmosphere was so repressive. And watching or reading about people who develop mental ailments perturb me particularly.

Goodnight, and happy new year everyone

p.s. The photographs that have R smiling in them pretty much make up for everything that has sucked this year

Julius takes a walk on my table

2010-12-27T18:07:00.002+08:00

Julius is the greedier (and perhaps as it follows, the fatter) brother of my two ginger cats; the handsome but grumpy and camera shy one. It's terribly tricky to take a good photo of him. He was napping by my laptop before this but I didn't think to take a photo then

Christmas pinhole

2010-12-27T01:00:00.007+08:00

It has been a tiring past few days so we made up for it by sleeping nearly very moment today in between church, lunch and dinner. Oh and we watched the original 1982-made Tron after dinner and liked it very, very much.

Also, a hard copy of the Watchmen graphic novel has come into my possession (temporarily) and so Julian Barnes has been returned to my shelf... terrible.

You people with hearts

2010-12-24T15:10:00.006+08:00

Thereafter he walked very carefully, with his eyes on the road, and when he saw a tiny ant toiling by he would step over it, so as not to harm it. The Tin Woodman knew very well he had no heart, and therefore he took great care never to be cruel or unkind to anything.

'You people with hearts,' he said, 'have something to guide you, and need never do wrong; but I have no heart, and so I must be very careful. When Oz gives me a heart of course I needn't mind so much.'

Am just done reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and can't help thinking - that if the country of the Winkies is yellow and the country of the Munchkins is blue and the country of the Quadlings is red, then Emerald City is the only one that is falsely emerald because it was ruled not by a real witch or wizard, but by a fraud, a humbug - what a lovely metaphor and piece of imagery rolled together. In fact, the story was so much... more than I thought it'd be. Or maybe I just always want to believe there is a story beneath the story.

I like that the tin man is not actually known as the Tin Man, but rather is the Woodman. It sounds rather more dignified.

Julian Barnes is beckoning. I shall allow myself this one last book before school restarts.

Norman sits on my notebook

2010-12-23T12:51:00.003+08:00

2010-12-23T12:23:00.001+08:00

It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as her other surroundings. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose. Toto played all day long, and Dorothy played with him, and loved him dearly.

Outlands

2010-12-23T01:19:00.006+08:00

Driven by their beating hearts

2010-12-22T22:39:00.009+08:00

Maybe... maybe this is enough. Maybe just having 1 joyful day out of 365 is enough.

This is what life should be like: sitting at your table with happy errands to be done, with plans yet to be made, knowing Christmas is coming, wondering a little about what a miracle it is that sometime nearly two years back (shit we're old) someone thought you enough for medical school, and having your cat take a nap on your lap for a tiny while.

In other news, went cycling along the beach with R today, and went the furthest either of us cycling n00bs has ever been. The smell of the sea and wind in your hair and having your best friend right beside you? Pretty much as good as it gets.

Also, tomorrow is LASAGNE DAY. Show up at my front door uninvited and I will gladly feed you

/

There's people, people going out of their minds
Right into each other's homes
But I only want to be with you, with you

There's people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you

I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me

Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts

A tiny tender fruit

2010-12-21T15:00:00.003+08:00

Have finally after about two weeks completed Peter Carey's Parrot and Olivier in America, a very good book, and am already beginning to miss Olivier-Jean-Baptiste de Clarel de Garmont and John Larritt. The book ended wistfully, almost sadly, as only befitting a story about a young French aristocrat in a foreign land, a strange new world.

Come to think of it, what I'm feeling now is not unlike the feeling I got at the end of The Little Prince, who incidentally rather had French manners (was created by a Frenchman anyway) in addition to his inquisitive nature, and who similarly found himself in a strange foreign land.

'Well,' he said as he finally released me, 'there is no place for me.'

We sat in silence. I did not know what to think or say.

'It will not ripen well.'

'Sir, she is my wife.'

'I do not mean your handsome wife. I mean this, democracy. It is a truly lovely flower, a tiny tender fruit, but it will not ripen well. You will see.'

Am quite excited to read the rest of his work but for now the rest of my reading list beckons, and of course the alarming pathology and pharmacology backlog.

Also, am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I have never read The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Found a copy a couple of months ago with the original illustrations by W. W. Denslow, and will start on that next, after gastrointestinal pathology, which I will very ambitiously try to finish today. Ah fuck it's 3:14 p.m. already

Oh little ironies

2010-12-21T00:23:00.005+08:00

My sleep cycle is now dictated by the cats who own me

Spent the morning fighting frostbite on the grounds of a certain hospital whilst wrapping presents and writing on Christmas cards (with my fingertips numb to the bone) for the kids we'll see Friday morning

Spontaneously decided to watch Tron Legacy with R an hour before the showing and it was ho'yes fucking epic▲▲▲

Listening to: A Great Big Pile of Leaves, Animal Liberation Orchestra

2010-12-20T14:49:00.001+08:00

I just had an Idea

Intuitively

2010-12-19T23:34:00.008+08:00

There already is chaos in and around everything here and nearly everything that I have ever known. I just want to be absolutely certain of something, someone. I just want to be sure, secure in the knowledge that there is, somewhere out there, a constant, an anchor that is mine own.

Whispers as you might often find are not to be taken lightly for they are dreams, sort of. This quiet telling of 'silly' things much more enduring, less fragile than I would have you believe. I ask, incessantly, because I am afraid

There is no better reminder than the soft ebb and flow of childish hurt and these vague echoes of emptiness

Peanut butter Fridays

2010-12-18T01:28:00.005+08:00

Today: a lot of lazing around in the afternoon before going west to watch the School of Art Design Media short film screening. It's now peanut butter cup x half-baked B&J and distracting my cats with iPod Apps till we fall asleep till tomorrow

Lawnmowers light sleepers lalafelamopus

2010-12-17T13:51:00.005+08:00

Had a series of strange dreams last night in which highly visually and conceptually disturbing things happened, to say the least. Awoke feeling vaguely discomfited but at least if such oddness does occur in the future at least it can be said that well, it's not the first time.

The cats had their second bath just now, which went infinitely better than their first, and for that one must be thankful. It was all quite civil, either of them only struggling to escape once each and at some point Julius actually started purring in the bathroom sink.

The aftermath? Getting to transport them back to my room in a bundle of towel. Norman climbing onto my bed and making tiny wet paw prints all over my sheets, two damp cats shivering slightly on my blanket, diligently drying, drying...

And the after-aftermath: the both of them falling asleep, presumably tired out from the stress of bathing, one before the other, purring like little lawnmowers and smelling of lavender and rosemary. Norman first, all dry and furry as ever, with his neck against my axilla. When I shimmy away for my own shower they instinctively move together and sleep either with their tiny faces pressed against each other. Sometimes one of them (usually Norman) spreads himself in a suitably intrusive way over the other, and falls asleep there. It seems the most natural thing in the world, and I always catch myself wondering if their breathing somehow becomes synchronized

In a way my entire December has been given over to these two. It is exhausting, time-consuming, costly, interferes with my sleep cycle and my actual sleep, and is on the whole a somewhat insane enterprise considering I brought this upon myself. But is it worth it? Is it better than always having to wonder about what things would be like? Yes.

What's in a love?

2010-12-17T02:52:00.001+08:00

Full of birds

2010-12-16T22:35:00.005+08:00

Ditched the giraffe top along Orchard Road forty minutes into my day and decided to just go with the nude tank underneath because despite my best efforts I'm still uncomfortable in the friendly neighbourhood casual collared shirt look.

Lunch at P.S. Cafe was definitely good, the cappuccino not particularly so. Spent the rest of the day at Kinokuniya with my sister getting more books then ducked into a Coffee Bean to continue with Parrot and Olivier in America for an hour or so before meeting my mom and stepfather for dinner (favourite Indian restaurant the second time this week woohoo)

'You do not listen,' he said fiercely. 'My father was a good man. He was funny and kind and full of birds as we used to say. He was my home. I thought the paths I walked with him would be my life. The birds and trees and weather of a particular place. I have never deliberately quit on anyone.'

♥

2010-12-15T23:59:00.002+08:00

Lanterns on the Lake... a little like Azure Ray, but better ▲

2010-12-15T19:23:00.004+08:00

I couldn't spell 'coalesce' on the first try if my life depended on it

2010-12-15T19:17:00.003+08:00

Double shot non-fat cappuccino at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf still good

Magic burger tuesdays

2010-12-15T00:59:00.015+08:00

Spent the day indoors watching movies with a lovely person, and had magic burgers for dinner with him and my sister --- Upper Thomson Road has never been more accessible (by train via the circle line)

Watched Rapunzel and, at my behest, Easy A together, both turning out to be surprisingly good.

Did an inventory of the alcohol in my room, and apart from the two bottles of Bailey's which we definitely have no trouble finishing, there is 1 x bottle of sherry, 1 x bottle of Madeira, 1 x bottle of flighty sparkling white wine. Next week might be a good time to make some lasagna and finish some of that, yes?

Oh also: some lovely new music, great weather out and an eighties movies list (another one for all the wine)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

~~Sixteen Candles~~

~~~~Can't Buy Me Love~~~~

~~Say Anything~~

~~The Breakfast Club~~

Virtual Insanity

2010-12-15T00:45:00.004+08:00

Y/N?

Frolicking fishy flatulent flasks of flukes

2010-12-14T12:11:00.005+08:00

Awoke this morning after an tiresome, eventful night where Norman spent the better part of it trying to barrel his tiny cat head through my thighs or crawl under my blanket or nudge my face, to discover Julius having a nice romp on my respiratory notes (now crumpled halfway to hell *makes angry noises*)

I think it is a sign that there is no way I'm going to be done with respiratory pathology today

Whinewhinewhine

Mid-morning naps

2010-12-13T11:22:00.005+08:00

Cat Norman with the long tail, Julius with the stubby one

Pan-cake

2010-12-13T03:26:00.004+08:00

Don't you just love-hate it when your weekend spills over onto your Monday and at 2 a.m. when your sister is going to bed you think to yourself, 'but it's still early...'?

Alarming.

In other news, my cats are astonishingly smart and eat like there's no tomorrow, my stepfather is in town, and today instead of buying a satchel as planned I bought myself a pair of brown leather brogues, and Strictly Pancakes makes a mean pancake x

Love In The Asylum

2010-12-12T01:20:00.010+08:00

by Dylan Thomas

A stranger has come
To share my room in the house not right in the head,
A girl mad as birds

Bolting the night of the door with her arm her plume.
Strait in the mazed bed
She deludes the heaven-proof house with entering clouds

Yet she deludes with walking the nightmarish room,
At large as the dead,
Or rides the imagined oceans of the male wards.

She has come possessed
Who admits the delusive light through the bouncing wall,
Possessed by the skies

She sleeps in the narrow trough yet she walks the dust
Yet raves at her will
On the madhouse boards worn thin by my walking tears.

And taken by light in her arms at long and dear last
I may without fail
Suffer the first vision that set fire to the stars.

///

To-do This Week:

~~Send out last mix tape and letter~~

~~Send out two last Christmas cards~~

~~Confirm people plans for the week~~

~~Get Christmas presents~~

~~Finish making notes for respiratory pathology by Tuesday~~

~~(Last segment on pulmonary tuberculosis!!!!)~~

~~Finish making notes for gastrointestinal pathology by Wednesday~~

Finish making notes for liver, pancreas and gallbladder pathology by Friday

2010-12-11T00:33:00.000+08:00

I was fine

until I wasn't

and so the story goes

2010-12-09T18:35:00.001+08:00

Re-release of Band on the Run? Hell yeah.

Cat Norman

2010-12-09T15:23:00.003+08:00

One of the rare occasions he actually stayed still enough to be captured in a photograph. He's got these lovely droopy eyes

2010-12-09T12:59:00.000+08:00

A lot of things would be easier
if love were enough

Norman x Julius

2010-12-07T14:54:00.008+08:00

The kitten-fighting problem has somewhat abated since letting them have free roam of my bedroom; they have since shown a great liking for my wardrobe :3

Since Sunday last, have amassed 2 x ginger kittens who like to watch me with their large eyes and skinny faces as I clean their poop and wee

Also, they have now crawled beneath my sister's wardrobe and it is near-impossible to coax them out from that corner so my new strategy is to let them be

My kittens are the boss of me

2010-12-06T21:03:00.005+08:00

I'm really tired. Really, really tired and can do little more than baseline existing right now

The last of it

2010-12-04T01:25:00.004+08:00

Playhouse tech run today and suddenly am very ready for tomorrow to be over, quick and painless. For the second time this week, found myself at a Starbucks late at night with a deep dish beef pie and nice company.

Slept only three hours last night and have been sleep-deprived this entire week, but have taken the time to keep up with people plans... and everyone needs that from time to time

///

Mix/tapes

2010-12-02T22:54:00.011+08:00

Tapes! Nothing fancy but they sure take up a substantial amount of time. Am not nearly half done yet (these aren't all there is) and am trying to get all those - save for a few - that need to be delivered in person out by this weekend first. The rest should be mailed by next Thursday so people should get those by next weekend!

I must confess I have been listening to it on my iPod for about two weeks now :>

Ah yes, I love this time of the year. The whole fun of Christmas is in anticipating it so I'm sure as heck going to enjoy this feeling for as long as it lasts

December snow

2010-12-02T18:47:00.003+08:00

One of the best quiet moments of the movie.

I can't help it... I'm a romantic

///

I caught this movie two days after it was released here, which was a fair amount of time ago, so this is quite belated. But even so:

I like the way the latest Harry Potter movie was made, no matter what people may say. It was thoughtful, it took its time, the acting was no longer painful to watch, and it captured the mood of the book

In a way... we really did grow up with the series. And I'm enormously glad about it.

2010-12-02T16:25:00.002+08:00

Get it together you little sneeze

Go on, go on / away from here

2010-12-02T14:58:00.005+08:00

Wednesday nights like these help dissipate the stale mid-week air: roast duck x meat feast thin-crust pizzas and drinks at Timbre, silly puns, the usual catching up, and Starbucks conversations over deep dish beef pies afterward.

♡ you Lester and Zihui I miss you and thank you both for always being around, helping to keep me the right amount of insane

2010-11-30T22:12:00.000+08:00

What? November is over?

Anatomy of a Monday

2010-11-29T23:42:00.002+08:00

School x biology tuition x live jazz and a damn good lasagna and a drink so sorely needed this past month

2010-11-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

I have never known
The like of this, I've been alone
And I have missed things
And kept out of sight
But other girls were never quite like this

Mmm-mmm-mmm-m'mmm-mmm

2010-11-27T22:41:00.002+08:00

I'm really tired of feeling this way.

Put my gameface on and breathe and keep running till I leave this feeling behind

2010-11-27T20:09:00.000+08:00

Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.
Neil Gaiman

2010-11-27T19:08:00.008+08:00

Got my hair cut today by a very nice hairdresser lady ... ...

Also, am now reading some Peter Carey, and gosh. Goodly stuff.

Want/need to buy:

~~1 x Christmas headgear~~

~~2 x brogues in black and brown/cream~~

~~1 x kaftan tunic~~

~~1 x asymmetrical black tank~~

Terrible terrible.

Also, this:

Pieces of Tom Riddle’s Soul

Where Kept: The Diary
Who Destroyed it: Harry Potter
Destroyed With: Basilisk’s fang

Where Kept: Gaunt’s Ring
Who Destroyed it: Albus Dumbledore
Destroyed With: Gryffindor’s Sword

Where Kept: Slytherin’s Locket
Who Destroyed it: Ron Weasley
Destroyed With: Gryffindor’s Sword

Where Kept: Hufflepuff’s Cup
Who Destroyed it: Hermione Granger
Destroyed With: Basilisk’s fang

Where Kept: Ravenclaw’s Diadem
Who Destroyed it: Vincent Crabbe
Destroyed With: Fiendfyre

Where Kept: Nagini
Who Destroyed it: Neville Longbottom
Destroyed With: Gryffindor’s Sword

Where Kept: Tom Riddle
Who Destroyed it: Tom Riddle
Destroyed With: Rebounding Avada Kedavra Curse

Where Kept: Harry Potter
Who Destroyed it: Tom Riddle
Destroyed With: Avada Kedavra Curse

I like it very much heh heh

Day 30: Who are you?

2010-11-27T01:10:00.005+08:00

The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.
Lost In Translation

I guess I don't really know who I am and what I want, then.

2010-11-27T01:07:00.000+08:00

So life was never better than
In nineteen sixty-three
(Though just too late for me) -
Between the end of the Chatterly ban
And the Beatles' first LP

Philip Larkin

2010-11-27T00:38:00.003+08:00

♡ you both Zenn and May

2010-11-25T22:48:00.004+08:00

Thank you computer for doing your disapproving little spasm every single time, I'm sorry you have to go to such lengths to protect me from myself.... for shame, Olivia, for shame

Away with you, heart!

Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned?

2010-11-25T20:57:00.007+08:00

I've learnt that sometimes, the most unlikely of things can happen, say for example your mother, who has never felt anything remotely like fondness for any sort of cat, starts showing signs of coming to terms with the fact that you, rebellious, impossibly stubborn you, autonomously decided to bring not one but two kittens home. This is very, very promising. And heartwarming.

Nearing midnight yesterday outside the central library at the university my mother asked me suddenly 'what are you going to name your cats?'

And completely ignoring my utter disbelief she went on to say

'...you should name your cats after political leaders'

Miracle.

THANK YOU MOM.

///

As an afterthought, it is quite a brilliant idea. Heh heh

Tired/happy + Notes to self

2010-11-22T00:35:00.016+08:00

Honestly, with everything that's going on right now, everything school curriculum-related has been shelved for the moment; again another weekend has passed without any intention of getting any work done. Ran errands the whole afternoon and evening today after church and my only comfort/respite was that Ryan was with me the whole time.

Thank you love ♥

This coming week is looking crazy

I just need to get away from people for a while. I want school to be over pretty badly because I'm making a mess of it and it bugs me. Three more weeks.

///

{ Things to do in Nov/Dec }

~~Survive school~~

~~Fix the flat tires on my bicycle~~

~~Cycle at least once!~~

~~Clear out remaining junk from room~~

~~Put clothes aside for the flea market~~

Finish reading The Ladies of Grace Adieu

~~Read at least one other book off reading list~~

~~Finish watching Grey's Anatomy s6 with R~~

~~Keep up with people plans~~

Clear pathology and pharmacology backlog

~~Send out Christmas tapes~~

~~Decide if/when January fringe fest plans~~

~~Spend more time at home alone~~

///

Should probably stop thinking so much about hypothetical worst-case scenarios, they are lifeblood-draining

Day 28: A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

2010-11-19T23:43:00.006+08:00

Olivia 2009

Olivia 2010

My vision is (most gratefully) now 20/20, my weight and height are exactly the same, my hair was cut and has grown out again, my freckles have mated and multiplied, my heart is perhaps a little more tired, my mind a little more reserved, a little less trusting, and still as rebellious as has ever been, wrote some Dylan Thomas on one of my feet, and all my fingers and toes and insides crossed that my room will be joined by two little orange furry friends... soon, very soon, maybe too soon.

Discovered new music, tired of some of the old, and sought comfort in some that have remained constants these few years. Also people.

Also people.

Day 27: Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

2010-11-17T19:48:00.002+08:00

I started because I was bored and it looked interesting, and I continued with it because it wasn't too difficult and because you know? It's a challenge. Ha ha ha

2010-11-17T19:41:00.007+08:00

Managed to complete Brock Clarke's An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England in two days, which is quite a feat considering the density of the book and how fantastically slowly I read... but in any case I have since moved on to Susanna Clarke's The Ladies of Grace Adieu and other stories.

Ah, reading lists ☺

Tomorrow, tomorrow I will

///

Listening to: The Black Keys

2010-11-16T22:48:00.004+08:00

Hunt and Christina are the new Derek and Meredith *_*

There are so many great things about this season.

Not freaking least of all, Derek trying to matchmake Bailey. He does that crazy half-whisper, twinkly eyes thing. Also Meredith. Is lovely, as always.

And Addison!

2010-11-16T19:56:00.001+08:00

Sigh, Charles Bukowski

2010-11-16T18:42:00.000+08:00

Self-loafing ha ha ha

Day 26: What you think about your friends

2010-11-15T23:14:00.007+08:00

To all my very good friends, you are some of the best people in the world, and I love you, and I miss you all. It amuses me how we can know say we've known each other for years, years (!!!), and to think we were only thirteen, fourteen or fifteen when we first met.

Most of you thought I was peculiar or intimidating, and perhaps some of you still do, but you know what? All of you are terrific people for staying around in my life. And I'm sorry for having strange moods and for all the quiet days and the needing-to-be-alone days.

Thank you for the greatest and worst (dirtiest, sluttiest, most ridiculous) conversations I've ever had in my life so far. You've gone overseas with me, let me hug you, shared music with me, talked through whole lessons without paying any attention with me, listened to me whine about how my essay sucks even though you think yours sucks more, talk about jellybeans with me, laugh at me in chemistry tutorial, listen to my smart-alecky comments, listen to me when I ask a serious question when I'm in a serious mood, listened to me on an angry tirade, listened to me cry on the phone, entrusted me with secret thoughts and hopes and dreams and shared food with me, said incredibly corny silly things to me, smiled to me in the hallways even though you may have been thinking 'why the fuck is she always alone in school?!', given me the middle finger repeatedly when I say stupid/annoying things just for laughs... and also, something I miss the most: some of you guys being able to laugh instead of getting angry or weirded out when I use my middle finger (hee hee Raghav and Lester you boys are freaking amazing people you know that?)

Little things.

Wherever you all are now, I miss you deeply, and I hope you are well.

And to all the friends that have come by after those crazy schooldays, it's been great :> It's a little different (you don't see me in my natural habitat much), but interesting nonetheless. I'm still largely the same person. I'm an odd mix of reserved and open, and it takes time for me to make friends, but. Life works in mysterious ways. And God has blessed me with people, people who are willing to love me even at my most unlovable

(♥ you most of all Ryan)

2010-11-13T23:50:00.001+08:00

The cardio lectures are mind-numbingly boring.

The Flaming Lips x The Raveonettes

2010-11-13T16:54:00.004+08:00

Amazing stuff.

Watch the second video for a tiny idea of just how epic it was (y)

///

Happily, the photo/video backlog is now cleared. Though there are a great many things left to do this weekend, not least of all four hours' worth of lectures that I missed on Friday and have to webcast... I wish there were more hours in a day. Oh, grief. Our sad little lives. Mopemopemopewhine.